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[Ben]:Planning a Wedding No discussion found
I've learned a lot from being involved in the planning of a wedding. Most of what I've learned is that certain amounts of stress and frustration are unavoidable. Unless you run down to Vegas and get hitched away from people you know, you're going to have a lot to deal with.

The most important thing to avoid is people who try to give you advice on what your wedding should be like. Bizarrely enough, most people will tell you in the same breath to plan the wedding that you want and what kind of wedding to have. I'm astonished that people can say "Do what you want to do, as long as it is what I want," with a straight face. But they can. And they will. Remember, most "advice" given on specifics about your wedding is not really intended as advice. Though presented as ideas and suggestions, these are really demands (usually from women who weren't happy with their own weddings).

Another important thing is learning how to gently turn down "advice". I've found that "Thanks, but we've got other plans," rarely cuts it. To one particularly insistant meddler who wouldn't take "No
" for an answer, I politely but clearly informed her that it was none of her business. That was sufficient to destroy decades-old relationships. Careful folks! My beautiful fiancee's usual response is generally to smile and nod and turn to me and say "Well that's a great idea, isn't it Ben?" This would work wonderfully, except I'm too slow to catch on that she's just trying to get the person off our back and so often times I start to say "No! That's possibly the worst idea I've ever heard in my life!" About halfway through, I realize what she's trying to do (it's the subtle jabbing into my ribs that catches my attention) and correct myself. The result is a response that is something like a rookie diplomat being informed that the main ingredient in the delicacy he has just sampled is human feces. In other words, I look sick and sort of wear a half smile as my head bobs noncommittally.

If you survive the advice and rejecting advice phases, you'll eventually move on to actual planning - some of which can even be somewhat enjoyable.

I think weddings are just designed to be hard.
  2005-04-18
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Planning a Wedding
 
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